Weirdness Scale Overload
by Eddy13
Summary: After his attempt to steal research notes is thwarted, Drakken gets help from a mysterious creature who promises him the ultimate take over the world plan. As Kim and Ron try to find out where Drakken's getting these new ideas, they soon encounter a threat that eclipses all other weird experiences they've had.


**A/N: This is an idea that came to me out of the blue while betaing for The Samurai Prince. Btw, you should check out his story "** _ **Why So Serious Kim?**_ **" to see how Kim deals with the most dangerous incarnation of the Clown Prince of Crime. Also, please know that there will be an update of one of my other projects coming soon. I just wanted to get this one off the ground first. Enjoy!**

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 **I.**

It was a regular evening at the Possible household as Kim and Ron sat cuddling on the couch, watching TV while feeling the excitement of their high school graduation only three weeks away.

"I can't believe we're going to be graduating soon, KP!" Ron said enthusiastically.

"Tell me about it" Kim said. "I was beginning to think it would never come".

"Yeah" Ron nodded in agreement "It was almost like fate wanted us to spend the rest of our lives in high school. So, any ideas about where you'll be heading off to college?"

"That depends" Kim replied.

"Depends on what?" Ron asked curiously.

Kim looked to her boyfriend with a loving smile. "Wherever _you_ end up going. You think after spending the majority of my life around you that I'm going to take the biggest step of my life without you? Sorry, not going to happen".

"You really mean that, Kim?" Ron asked nervously. "I mean, because my grades aren't that good, mostly because Barkin has it out for me, I probably won't be getting anywhere prestigious".

Kim scoffed. "Prestigious colleges are so overrated, Ron. Trust me, I'll be able to manage whether I…I mean _we_ end up at".

"Yeah?" Ron asked hopefully.

"Yeah" Kim nodded with a smile.

"Aww" Rufus said emotionally as the two teens leaned in for a kiss…

 _Beep-Beep-Be-Beep_

…only to be interrupted by a musical tone that had become aggravating to them when they were in a moment.

With a sigh, Kim activated her Kimmunicator. "What's the sitch, Wade?" she asked halfheartedly.

"Interrupted another moment?" Wade asked.

"We were _this_ close to lipsmacking" Ron answered as he held his forefinger and thumb an inch apart.

"Sorry guys" Wade said guiltily "But we have a break in at the research lab. Security guards mentioned a woman with glowing green hands."

Kim's face instantly became determined. "Sounds like Drakken is doing a little late night shopping. But his cashier check is about to bounce. Come on, Ron!"

 **II.**

Shego knocked out the last of the guards before she and Drakken turned to the research scientist who owned the lab.

"W-What do you want from me?" he asked nervously.

"Your research notes, of course" Drakken said simply "I've heard about your work in delving into the unknown. I have reason to believe that you may have discovered information on ancient technology powerful enough to bring the world to its knees".

"N-No!" the researcher cried before grabbing a trio of books from his desk and held them to him protectively. "This is my life's work! I can't let you steal it!"

"I'm afraid you don't really have a choice in the matter" Drakken said before turning to his henchwoman "Shego?"

"On it" Shego replied before flip flopping over to the computer on the researcher's desk and inserting a flash drive into it. In a flash, a message appeared on the screen that said _Download in progress. One percent complete_.

Shocked by what he was seeing, the researcher turned and saw Drakken grab the books he was holding and tried to pry them out of his hands.

"Now, be a good boy and hand over your logs" Drakken said with a grunt.

"No!" the researcher said defiantly as he held the research books close to him. "Everything I've learned and collected over the past thirty years is in these!"

"That just makes them even more valuable!" Drakken said with a grin as he pulled back harder.

"Too valuable to be in your grubby little hands" came a voice behind him.

Letting go of the books, Drakken whirled around and saw an annoying familiar sight behind him.

"Kim Possible?!" he cried in shock.

"You still get surprised when she shows up?" Shego asked with a shake of her head. "She's been doing this for four years and you still fall for it?"

Drakken sneered. "Just keep her busy while I relieve our friend here of his work".

"Fine" Shego shrugged before leaping over Drakken, making a point to shove his head downward in the process.

"Ron, help the researcher!" Kim said as Shego landed in front of her.

"Got it!" Ron said with a thumbs up before racing past the two females.

"So," Shego said as she took a fighting stance. "Ready for another go, Kimmie?"

"Funny," Kim retorted with a smirk "You just mocked Drakken for always being surprised to see me, and yet, you haven't learned from our past encounters either".

Snarling at the insult, Shego powered up her glowing hands and leaped at Kim.

At the same time, Drakken had resumed his tug of war over the books with the researcher…at least until a sneaker collided with his face.

"Don't worry, Mister" Ron said as he helped the researcher get away with his books "Your books are safe now".

"Oh, thank you, young man" the researcher said gratefully before pointing to his computer "But they have a flash drive that's downloading the data on my computer!"

"Don't worry, I'll handle it!" Ron said as he ran up to the computer, only to be blocked by Drakken.

"Sorry, Buffoon" Drakken said with a smirk, while Ron growled at the mad scientist forgetting his name again. "But if you want to get to that computer, you'll have to get through me!"

Ron chuckled. "Dude, I can get around you, no sweat".

"Perhaps" Drakken said before pointing to the researcher behind him "But if you make a break for that computer and leave him unguarded, you'll be giving me an opportunity to get those books. Can't protect both the computer and the books at the same time, can you?"

"Maybe not" Ron agreed before a smirk came to his face "But he can!" he said while pointing to the computer.

Whirling around, Drakken saw Rufus prying the flash drive from the computer.

"NOOO!" Drakken cried as he ran to the computer, but was too late to stop Rufus from pulling it out.

A message appeared on the computer saying _Download interrupted. Only twenty five percent transferred to flash drive. Flash drive removed incorrectly. Cannot resume download_.

"No!" Drakken moaned at the loss of his chance to gain the knowledge he sought.

Seeing her employer's theft had been thwarted, Shego decided to bail on her fight with Kim and ran over to Drakken while picking up the flash drive.

"Some is better than nothing" she shrugged before unleashing a big blast of green energy that blew a big hole in the wall and sent Kim, Ron, and the researcher crashing to the ground while Drakken and Shego made their getaway in the smoke.

Coughing, Kim waved the dust out of her face to see Drakken and Shego gone. "Another time, then" she said before calling out "Ron, are you okay? Where are you?"

"I'm over here, KP" Ron's voice cut through the dust, leading Kim to her boyfriend flat on his bottom.

"Where's the research scientist?" Kim asked worriedly.

"I'm over here, Miss Possible" he said behind Ron, having fallen over as well.

"Are you okay?" Kim asked as she walked over to the man.

"Oh yes" he nodded gratefully before looking down at the three books he had been holding, relieved to see them unharmed. "But more importantly, thank you both for saving my work from being stolen by those two".

"It's what we do" Kim replied dismissively.

"Yeah, well, we didn't exactly save all of it" Ron replied "That flash drive they took had about twenty five percent of the computer's data on it".

"That's alright" the researcher said as he picked up one of his books "The data on my computer was copied from these books. My journals here are the original copy of my research".

"Wow" Ron said as he picked one up and perused it, fascinated by the amazing creatures depicted within it "These are some crazy beasts in this book. You mean to say these things are real?"

"Oh yes" the researcher nodded. "I've seen them myself during my travels over the countryside".

"Well" Kim said as she looked over Ron's shoulder to see the depictions "They don't look any freakier than most of the other things we've run into".

"Yeah" Ron agreed "Sounds like your life isn't less crazy than ours".

Closing the book, Ron noticed a strange symbol on the cover. Looking back up to the researcher, Ron noticed that his hands looked like the symbol: having _six_ fingers.

"I was born with polydactylism" the researcher explained. "This birth defect is what got me fascinated with anomalies. As you can see, I even made it my personal sign".

"Wow" Ron said fascinated as he handed the researcher his book back "Never thought I'd meet a guy with more than five fingers".

"Ah" the researcher said enthusiastically "Fascinated by the unusual, are you?"

"Oh yeah" Ron nodded "My motto is 'Never be normal'".

"Fascinating" the researcher said with a smirk "If I ever need help on one of my expeditions, perhaps you two can accompany me".

"We'd be glad to help you" Kim said as she shook the six-fingered man's hand "It was nice to meet you, uh…Sorry, but what's your name?"

"The name's Ford" the researcher replied with a smile "Ford Pines".

 **II.**

Storming into the lair, Drakken growled angrily before pounding on a desk.

"Curse that blasted Kim Possible!" he moaned while pounding.

"Would you relax?" Shego snarked before tossing him the flash drive. "We still got away with a bit of the info".

"What exactly can I do with only a fourth of the information I was after?!" Drakken retorted "We probably didn't get any of the juicy stuff that researcher had".

"You never know, Doc" Shego shrugged. "Perhaps the info on that thing was something useful".

Deciding to trust his assistant, Drakken took the flash drive over to his computer and plugged it in.

Five minutes later, his fears were confirmed.

"Oh!" he moaned as he looked over the files on the drive "This stuff is useless! 'Hiding places of elves'? 'Locations with known sightings of sasquatches'? 'List of foods gnomes eat'?! What kind of trash is this stuff?! Was this lunatic chasing after every urban myth in history?!"

"Guess we should be thankful we didn't get all of his notes" Shego replied while filing her gloves.

Sneering, Drakken prepared to delete all the files on the drive when he caught sight of the last one he hadn't seen. This one was labeled _Mysterious Text._

"Huh?" the mad scientist said in confusion "What's this?" Deciding to click on the file, it opened to reveal a copied version of a parchment.

"What is that?" Shego asked as she looked over Drakken's shoulder.

"I have no idea" Drakken replied before clicking on a tab marked 'Translated Version', converting the text to English. "Looks like some kind of chant" he said as he looked over the translated words before reading them "' _Oh Keeper of Knowledge, Oh Master of the Mind, I invoke thee, Please hear thy cry, I need thy wisdom, I crave thy guidance, I beg thee to give an auidance, Come to me through your slumbering creek, And bring the answers that I seek'_ ".

"What kind of mumbo jumbo is that?" Shego asked in bewilderment.

"I have no idea" Drakken shook his head before deleting the file "All I know is that today's excursion was a complete waste of time". With a yawn, he stood up from the computer. "Let's get some sleep so I can come up with an actual evil plan in the morning".

"Sounds good" Shego replied "Constantly going rounds with Kimmie can really take it out of you. Night, Dr. D".

With that, the pair of villains departed for their quarters, Drakken still upset over the waste of time today's plan had amounted to. Upon hitting the pillow, Drakken was out like a light.

It was then that something felt odd about his bed. Opening his eyes, Drakken discovered that he was somehow back in the main chamber of his lair.

"Wha?" the blue scientist cried in shock as he looked around "How'd I get back here?"

He was about to head back to his room when a shadow fell over him. Eyes wide, Drakken hoped that whoever it was behind him was Shego and not an intruder, least of all Kim Possible. Summoning all the courage he could, Drakken whirled around, and was greeted by a peculiar sight.

"Hi there!" was the cheerful introduction "The name's Bill Cypher!"

 _ **TBC…**_

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 **A/N: Before anyone asks, this version of Ford has not met Bill, hence why the summoning spell didn't include a warning. Furthermore, Ford only appears in this chapter, as I want Kim and Ron to handle this** _ **MAJOR**_ **sitch on their own. Now, I think we can all assume what's going to happen, but it'll still be fun to watch, right? Something tells me that I've just unleashed a horrifying concept on the entire Kimmunity.**


End file.
